The Royally Challenged On the Rocks

The IPL extravaganza got off to a rousing start in Bengaluru yesterday for everyone but the hosts - The Bengaluru Royally Challenged. The home side - stacked with aging test stars and unknown internationals - was a royal flop, losing the inaugural IPL T20 match by 140 runs in a pathetic display in all facets of their cricket.

"During the player auction, we consulted soothsayers and prepared magic potions and then picked players in the Test mould and other international unknowns that no one else wanted to touch. We believed they would be the surprise package. They were...but, apparently, only to us," said Rahool Druid the captain of the Royally Challenged.

"My squad was smartly turned out in red clothing, red gloves, red pads, red caps and red helmets", commented Veejay Malayalam, the owner of the franchise, "the least I could do in solidarity was to be red-faced. With my recent acquisition of Force India F-1 I am getting used to having the worst team in the competition, anyway. More importantly, my first name Veejay means victory and my surname Malayalam is a palindrome where first is last and last is first, so I've made sure I win either way!" What a cunning plan!

With 6 more IPL games to go in Bangalore, the Royally Challenged's next challenge is to convince the public to go and watch at least one more match. Sources reveal that the proposed strategy involves free alcohol outside the stadium to get people in and one-way doors in the stadium to keep them there. Others suggest that a spectator auction is on the anvil."